


The Owner's Rant: DO NOT VIEW MY CONTENT IF YOU ARE IN ONE OF THESE GROUPS!

by OhgunSOO (OhgunAP)



Series: The Owner's Blogs [2]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, Mortal Kombat (Video Games), Original Work, The Little Mermaid (1989)
Genre: Gen, Rants, Strong Language, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 03:17:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19782139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhgunAP/pseuds/OhgunSOO
Summary: After months of constant thoughts and concerns about his works (and viewing some Raging Golden Eagle videos) the owner of Awakened Prodigy decides to hold a conference informing the attendees about three undesirable groups of people.





	The Owner's Rant: DO NOT VIEW MY CONTENT IF YOU ARE IN ONE OF THESE GROUPS!

*Several characters that the owner created, and others from various other sources begin to fill an auditorium with the inclusion of two protesters who just wanted to show up to see if the presenter is what he believes is a Nazi or pedo*

Inuyasha: The hell are they doing here?

Ariel: Don’t ask.

Ohgun (Owner): Okay we need to have an urgent conference regarding the target audience of Awakened Prodigy.

Snowflake: That title is sexist.

Ohgun (Owner): Wha… I know you’re not talking while I’m talking. So, do everyone in this room a favor and shut the fuck up. Anyway… I’m Ohgun, the founder and sole writer and artist of Awakened Prodigy, and I honestly have to vent some frustrations regarding my company’s target audience. To start off, there are three types of individuals and organizations I do not want to see commenting on my works or anything I’m involved with. Period! The first group: the hypersensitive, authoritarian, identity politicians on the left and the right. You think that everything everyone does has to comply to your fucked-up world view. You’re always commenting on the works on social media or your blog saying, “Ohgun’s Hell is promoting mass murder of mortally challenged. Awakened Prodigy needs to be more inclusive of LGBTQ+, people of color, and Muslims and stop being an Alt-Right Nazi.” SHUT UP DUMBASS! DO NOT LOOK UP MY CONTENT!

*Ohgun nods his head in agreement to the first rule presented*

Ohgun (Owner): Group number two: The “Think of the Children” Crowd. I DON’T WANT YOU HERE! Where were you when several innocent children were being sexually assaulted and trafficked across the globe in real life? But you have the nerve to get one glimpse of my art and literature find something that has a fictional child character not based on a real-life child being in a consensual relationship or abused to build them up in the long term. Talking about “This artist must be into pedophilia, only a sick pedophile would include these themes in his or her work.” NO! YOU MORON! Where were you people when Jeffery Epstein and the Clintons were abusing children. There have been several articles revealing the pedophilic antics of people like Todd Nickerson and the Lolita Express. How many of you showed up and demanded these people be arrested or killed? Probably only Keith Sweat, because (singing) Nobody. (speaking) Nobody called them out! Now you must be in an uproar because a fictional child is being exposed to adult activities that I do not condone real children to do? DO NOT SHOW UP!

*Before an audience member wearing an all-black outfit tries to grab a milkshake he placed on a cupholder containing quick dry concrete at the owner, he screams as he feels the tip of a kunai stab his back”

Scorpion: GET OUT OF HERE!

*Scorpion throws the potential milkshaker towards the nearest exit of the auditorium using his signature chained kunai*

Ohgun (Owner): Thank you for sparing me a trip to the hospital, Scorpion. Lastly: the creeps who are always trying to show underage children and teenagers content that should only be viewed or read by adults. NO! DO NOT EXPOSE KIDS, PRETEENS AND TEENS UNDER 18+ TO MY CONTENT! THEY’RE NOT WHAT MY CONTENT IS FOR! DO NOT POP UP! I’m not tolerating those antics! These youths still have a lot of growing up to do, and you want to taint their minds with perversions. FUCK OUTTA HERE! What about teaching them how to read and write? What about teaching them how to draw and experiment with 3D Graphics? DO NOT BRING MINORS! I’m loading out with an assault rifle on my back; the high caliber pistol on my right hip; the longsword on my left with a dagger slightly above it, because I’m going to have my berserker ranger’s instincts primed up and ready for every single one of you. I’m dead ass serious! You people in these groups are behaving like the Ingsoc of expression! The Ingsoc of throughts and transformative works! Do not leave feedback on my site if you’re in one of these groups. I’m not playing with you. We need to start the XCOM Overwatch challenge. If you move up and attempt to sabotage the fun people are having, you’re getting shot, on sight! Go full suppression fire! You’re not fucking up the entertainment for me and my audience!

*The owner takes a deep breath and a drink of water*

Ohgun (Owner): This conference is now adjourned.

*Everyone gets out of their seats and leaves the auditorium*

**Author's Note:**

> This rant is mainly inspired by the comedy video created by Chiseled Adonis titled "PSA: DO NOT GO SEE BLACK PANTHER IF YOU ARE ONE OF THESE PEOPLE!". The video may be over a year old now, but it's still a fun watch. Check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYTSGy3GmcM


End file.
